Why “Learning the Language” Unlocks Greater Success in a Career Change
“L’addition?”
There: I did it! I had correctly asked for the check at a restaurant in France!
Then my wife smacked my arm and said “s’il vous plait!”
I had failed again.
Several days into the trip and unable to speak the language and follow all the customs correctly, I continued to feel dumb and lost.
A feeling very familiar to those who find themselves at a crossroads in the mid to late stages of their career.
Job searches and career pivots also have languages all their own. For those who haven’t written a resume or cover letter in years, the blinking cursor on a blank document on the screen taunts you. Self-promotion does not come naturally. What to write and how to write it?
I thought about this a lot in France. For example, watching the process of how people were seated (or not) at a restaurant in Nice was like watching LinkedIn with news of hirings and layoffs and promotions all jumbled together.
We had gotten a table outside because my wife asked for one in French. Groups who came up and asked in English were told they had no tables without reservations. Others who asked in French or at least led with “bonjour” got seats.
Recognizing this pattern, things started to make a little more sense. My wife explained the steps, which one of our Uber drivers called “the best system in the world,” in a recent post in her newsletter:
What people don’t understand: there is a system in France, and when you operate within the rules of the system, you’ll find that you’re treated better.
Granted, it helps to speak some French, and to be willing to set aside any pushy American expectations you might have. Nothing needs to happen five minutes ago, after all. If you’re patient, everything works out the way it’s supposed to…so you might as well enjoy yourself in the meantime.
But also, manners are huge in France. Neglect them at your own peril.
Say you walk into a shop or up to a maitre d’ at a restaurant. The first thing out of your mouth should be “Bonjour” and then you will get a “Bonjour” in return. See? Nice, and nonthreatening. You’re off to a great start. If you’re at a restaurant, and you’d like a table for two, don’t just ask for the table and leave it at that…say please – “s’il vous plait” – because I don’t want anyone to think you’re a monster. When they seat you at a table, say “merci,” which is thank you. Any help you ask for, or order you make should involve a please and thank you. You’d be amazed at how many people don’t do this, and don’t understand why things aren’t going their way as a result.
In the job market there are also specific customs. A career coach can help with these steps. Once you gain confidence in the basic steps, and confidence that you are doing the right things in the right order, you can focus on the languages that you do speak. For example, speaking the language of project management or technology or leading a team. You can make the mental switch from talking about yourself to talking about the things in which you’ve built up years of wisdom.
Your seat at the table will come. Just remember to say “merci” when it does.
About the Author
OpenWater member Jeff Diecks has more than two decades of experience in technology and communications with a diverse background in operations, project management, and executive leadership. Diecks delivered digital products and applications for dozens of universities, six professional sports leagues, state governments, global media companies, non-profits and corporate clients.
